Crockettlakeguy,
I feel your pain, but unfortunately advertising on vacation rental portals is still important and it will be very difficult getting bookings without being on them. It would cost you alot of money if you tried to compete with them (you simply won't get a good return on investment).
In regards, to links to your site. They purposely make the links not visible to search engines and hard to find for travelers. The reason for them offering unfriendly search engine links and hard to find external links is because they don't want to promote other websites (this goes againts their business model).
The only vacation rental directories that I am aware of that could help you promote your own personal website is vrwd.com and yahoo. Otherwise, you need to try link exchanges with other owners that have websites. If you have a vacation rental blog, I suggest you place it on blogcatalog.com.
Post your vacation rental complaints at:
Vacation Rentals WatchDog